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  • ⚡ Quick & Dirty Astro Check-In

    ⚡ Quick & Dirty Astro Check-In

    ⚡ Quick & Dirty Astro Check-In

    Regular price $33.00 USD
    Regular price Sale price $33.00 USD
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  • A glowing zodiac wheel spins at the center of a star-filled sky, highlighting constellations and planetary glyphs with golden light. Overlay text reads “The Basics Birth Chart” in gothic font. An ancient spellbook ignites with glowing embers and curling flames, symbolizing The Unholy Transcript™ — a dark-mode, ritual-grade astrology report from Hex+Hooligan.

    🌑 Basic Natal Chart Report

    🌑 Basic Natal Chart Report

    Regular price From $44.00 USD
    Regular price Sale price From $44.00 USD
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  • A skeletal figure sits cross-legged in meditation, surrounded by sacred geometry and astrological diagrams. The design evokes a soul blueprint beyond lifetimes. Gothic text reads “Draconic Chart” with the Hex+Hooligan logo. An ancient spellbook ignites with glowing embers and curling flames, symbolizing The Unholy Transcript™ — a dark-mode, ritual-grade astrology report from Hex+Hooligan.

    🐍 Draconic Soul Contract Reading

    🐍 Draconic Soul Contract Reading

    Regular price From $88.00 USD
    Regular price Sale price From $88.00 USD
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  • 💘 Synastry Soul Contract Reading An ancient spellbook ignites with glowing embers and curling flames, symbolizing The Unholy Transcript™ — a dark-mode, ritual-grade astrology report from Hex+Hooligan.

    💘 Synastry Soul Contract Reading

    💘 Synastry Soul Contract Reading

    Regular price From $99.00 USD
    Regular price Sale price From $99.00 USD
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  • 📜 The Past Life Ledger™ An ancient spellbook ignites with glowing embers and curling flames, symbolizing The Unholy Transcript™ — a dark-mode, ritual-grade astrology report from Hex+Hooligan.

    📜 The Past Life Ledger™

    📜 The Past Life Ledger™

    Regular price From $122.00 USD
    Regular price Sale price From $122.00 USD
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  • Sf87ff4faf0624fbc87f9b1dbd9522582j S18f7d1a0cc6c4275bf2c4794c75d6447t

    🗡️ The Hexed Rosary | Chain of Sacred Defiance

    🗡️ The Hexed Rosary | Chain of Sacred Defiance

    Regular price $24.00 USD
    Regular price $8.99 USD Sale price $24.00 USD
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  • A woman removes a white mask, revealing one half of her face with intense eye contact. Rainbow light fractures the shadowed image. Text reads “Shadow Chart” above a lunar skull icon. An ancient spellbook ignites with glowing embers and curling flames, symbolizing The Unholy Transcript™ — a dark-mode, ritual-grade astrology report from Hex+Hooligan.

    🕯️Shadow Chart Reading

    🕯️Shadow Chart Reading

    Regular price From $66.00 USD
    Regular price Sale price From $66.00 USD
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  • 🕷️Shadow Invocation Grimoire™

    🕷️Shadow Invocation Grimoire™

    🕷️Shadow Invocation Grimoire™

    Regular price $55.00 USD
    Regular price Sale price $55.00 USD
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This isn’t a safe space. It’s a sacred one.

Welcome to Hex+Hooligan, where karmic baggage gets itemized, and self-care smells like unprocessed trauma.

We offer astrology readings that feel more like soul subpoenas, ritual kits that don’t pretend to be “light and love,” and invocations that are equal parts poetry and spiritual rebellion.

If you’re here to bypass the shadow, you’re in the wrong cathedral.

If you’re here to face it, we’ve been waiting.

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