⚡ Quick & Dirty Astro Check-In

⚡ Quick & Dirty Astro Check-In | No Fluff, Just the Forecast

This is your astrological drive-by. One burning question, one current transit scan, and the blunt truth about what’s going on energetically—no sugar, no ceremony.

Here’s what makes it Quick + Dirty:

• Quick → You get what you need fast. No 10-page PDF. No buildup. Just the raw cosmic tea, now.

• Dirty → It’s unfiltered, emotionally honest, and written like you’re reading your own spiritual post-it note from the Underworld. There’s no sugar, just shadow clarity.

It’s the spiritual equivalent of texting your best friend:

“Am I crazy or is the Moon doing something fcked right now?”*
And getting a response that says:
“No, you’re not crazy. Venus is square your trauma. Hydrate and block him.”

🔮 Includes:
• Real-time transit snapshot
• Answer to one specific question or situation
• Delivered in under 24-48 hours depending on ritual queue


⚠️ Disclaimer: This is not a full reading. It’s an energetic slap—ordered fast, read faster.